**Insider Disclosure**

A bit of a personal and work update: the short version.

This month was the first time I almost caved and gave up on my authorship.

Another disclaimer before I go on: I write this not to simply complain or rant, but because I want to share with you behind the scenes things that make a big impact on both my personal and work life that you would otherwise never know. I'll probably feel that big chill of vulnerability once I hit send, but I'm here to connect, so I must share.

See the thing is my time and resources are already very small, so when I spread myself thin in order to give my work the push it deserves, I am really risking many things. But how do you ever get ahead if you don’t grin and bear your hardships and make your leap? Also, there is some wild bad luck that tests me every time I try making a better life...

All three times that I have done a marketing campaign to get Vitality out there, my whole life has imploded — from small things, like all the light bulbs in my house going out and my microwave & vacuum catching on fire right before I’m supposed to have my mother spend a few days at my house, to big and fatal things, like losing my job and my fur baby getting sick and having no resources to help them so that death becomes imminent (there is nothing harder in this life than looking down at someone you love and are responsible for, knowing they need your help but you can’t help them). Every time, everything around me broke down and one of my cats, who have been with me over a decade and were healthy as a kitten, have gone under. This time it’s my baby girl Keura; I found a big breast lump on her a week and half ago and about a week ago she became lethargic and lost her appetite. Just came back from emergency vet yesterday and surgery will cost over $4,000 and I haven’t even been able to pay my rent yet because of my annual website bill came in a couple months early, so I'd figured I'd bend things around a little and pay rent a little late. I have been syringe feeding her and some days are better than others and I was able to pick up three new weekly shifts immediately so there is some hope. I just know from experience that not only will I not have much time at all for my writing career for a long time to come but because my shifts are all different hours (7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm, 11pm-7am) I’m about to say goodbye to sleep and hello again to ill health, physically and mentally.